Teenagers vs. Youth

I'm not sure when it started, but it's been going on for a couple of months now.  One evening Jared and I were sitting on our bed reading.  The door was open and we could hear the kids engaged in various activities.  Jenna appeared at the door and asked if she could talk to us.  We set our books aside as she came in and shut the door.  We chatted for a few minutes and then asked her what she had wanted to talk about.  "Nothing in particular, I just wanted to talk to you" was her reply.  Soon, the others joined us and it became a fun evening of talking, laughing and tickling. 

It's continued since then, though it's morphed into something slightly different.  We get Sadie down to bed for the night then the big girls, Jenna and Abby, meet me in my bedroom.  Jared disappears with Ethan to do whatever it is boys do when girls aren't around.  Then, me and my teenage daughter and almost teenage daughter lay on my bed and we "chat".  (Their word, not mine.)  We have discussed current events, boys, things about our church, boys, friends at school, boys, dreams of theirs, boys and a variety of other things.  Oh wait, did I mention boys?!

While this doesn't happen every night, I find that it happens a couple of times each week.  I have been loving this time with my "teenage" daughters.  I love hearing all they have to say, laughing with them and hearing about their goals and dreams.  I love that the three of us have this time together.  This has been a great way for us to connect.  Now, please don't be disillusioned, they are still normal kids.  There is still eye rolling, there are disagreements and there are many moments when they think I'm the meanest mom in the world.  But a couple of nights each week we get to set all of it aside and just enjoy each other. 

My uncle once told me to enjoy my teenagers, that raising teenagers was only as bad as you made it.  I always wanted to remember that piece of advice.  I'm reminded of a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine regarding teenagers.  She was telling me how interesting she found it that the world refers to our children at this age as teenagers and it's usually used as a derogatory term.  How often do you hear people refer to teenagers in a negative way.  So often!  It's always with frustration or anger that we comment on ours or other people's teenagers.  However, in the LDS church, you never hear them referred to as "teenagers"  they are "youth".  Our leaders speak highly of their abilities, talents and enthusiasm.  I wonder how many of us are missing out on seeing all the good that these youth bring into the world by choosing to call them, refer to them and therefore see them as only "teenagers".

I have served with the youth in the LDS church for some time now.  They are an amazing group of young people.  Their desire to do right and their enthusiasm for all that is good in the world is so inspiring.  They truly believe as Sis. Dalton taught that if they desire to make a difference in the world they must be different from the world.  And so they make a difference in the world by doing good, choosing the right, living their standards and letting the light of Christ shine through their faces.  So, I hope you'll forgive me if I don't jump on the "teenagers are horrible" bandwagon. 

Someday these girls will be all grown and leave my little house.  I'm not crazy, I know that time is coming towards us with lightning speed regardless of how much I may be in denial.  There won't be anymore nights laying on mom's bed chatting.   I don't know if they'll remember these evenings or not.  I do hope they will know that I love them fiercely with all that I have in me and that being their mom is by far the coolest thing I ever did.