I have been MIA the last month or so from this lovely blog. We have had tons going on, including our awesome Disneyland/California/Las Vegas trip. I promise to post some pictures and stories soon. Tonight I've been reflecting on the last couple weeks in my life and felt like writing some of my thoughts down.
In December, after struggling for years with lupus, my mom was finally hospitalized and it looked like we were going to lose her. I won't get into the details on this blog, but I will say that God is good. He is absolutely in the details of our lives. We experienced some special times together as a family that I will always cherish. I am very blessed to have wonderful siblings and parents. Ultimately, she has made somewhat of a recovery, although her time on this earth is likely very short. Her left lung is no longer functioning and her right lung is functioning at around 80%. We have had to move her into a nursing home since my dad is no longer able to care for all of her needs.
Fast forward to three weeks ago. We were on our way home from our trip when I learned that my dad had been hospitalized and would be undergoing quintuple (that's 5 clogged arteries, folks) bypass surgery. I won't lie to you, I spent one agonizing night crying my eyes out as I faced the very real possibility of losing both my parents within a few months of each other. Fortunately, my dad is a fighter and quite stubborn, both excellent qualities when facing such a major surgery. He made it through with flying colors. The doctor informed us that his recovery would require him to stay with one of us kids for a minimum of 2 weeks, most likely longer, until he could handle things on his own. No problem, I said, I will take him to my house.
I picked him up from the hospital on a Saturday two weeks ago. He was much weaker than I had anticipated and still in major pain. The first couple of days I really worried about him. I'm sure the doctor thought I was a lunatic as I kept calling his office to make sure all was normal. Two weeks later, he is getting so much stronger and is doing so well.
My dad has always been my hero. My mom was sick for a lot of my growing up years. He went to work each day and took care of her every night. He loved all of us kids unconditionally. He served in the church and I always knew how much he loved the Lord and our family. He has the patience of Job and a love for the Lord that I have rarely seen. It has been an honor for me to get to have him stay with us. However, it has been hard watching him struggle through. He isn't only recovering from major surgery. He is having to learn a new, healthier way of life. All while facing the fact that he will never live with my mom, his wife of 43 years, again in this life. Ethan and Sadie were playing a game on Friday morning and making so much noise. I looked at my dad and apologized for all the noise they were making. He said, "Don't apologize, I love it. The noise of kids in my house is what I miss the most about my kids growing up and moving on." It broke my heart for him. I think that maybe I should try harder to appreciate the noise of my kids.
He is going to be with us a couple of more weeks. I know it will be a blessing. I have felt God's hand in our lives as our family has taken on this extra responsibility. It was ward conference today. In Relief Society they talked about strengthening our families. The teacher quoted Elder Hales, "The greatest love we give is within our homes." This isn't new information for me. Perhaps it's because of the way the past couple of months have been that I was reminded again of how much I love and cherish my siblings and parents. We love to be together and we have drawn strength from one another at different times in our lives. I also adore my little family. Jared is a great man and husband. There are no words to adequately express my deep love and appreciation for him. My little monkeys are crazy and wonderful all at the same time. How I hope we can instill in them a love for one another. Someday they will need each other in ways they can't imagine now. I want them to have that connection and that feeling of knowing that someone is always cheering for them.
More than anything, I hope they love the Lord. I hope they learn from their grandparents and their parents that God is good. He loves them always. He wants them to return to Him more than anything. He wants their success and He too, is always cheering for them. He is in the details of our lives and if we let Him in, we will always feel Him there.
